Dear Heart

Dear Heart,

You’re weird. First you gave love a chance, loving the wrong person for so long. You gave it all you had and let yourself open without thinking that you’ll ever get hurt and for two long years, you loved with all you had even though you knew that the other heart did not love you as much. You kept loving and loving, hoping that you & the other heart will meet half way. Then the time actually came … the time where you got hurt. Not just a short amount of hurt; you were hurt for two year. For two year … you were completely broken & shattered. So broken that everybody noticed it. You didn’t want to give love a chance again; never again. Why would you give love another chance when you have gone through so much bullshit and lies? One of my old friends once said to me “She ripped out your heart; stepped all over it, crushing it to pieces and then just left it there without even cleaning it up” and honestly; I’m very sorry. So so so so so sorry that I put you through so much hurt & pain. That is why I kept you locked up. I was never going to put you through more pain. So when this new girl came in my life, I kept you locked up even though you kept telling me to go for it while my head kept telling me “no” because I wanted to keep you protected. But you kept trying to come out and over power my mind. So after all the things you’ve been through you still wanted to open up to this new girl, which amazed me. She must be something special if you wanted to give love another try just for this one new girl. Then finally, you over-powered my mind. I listened to you rather then my head. I’m glad I did listen to you heart because I can honestly say that I am truly happy and I feel as if you are healed. You are so much better. You helped me turn from that bitter heart broken man to this happy cheerful man. After that two years, you decided that you’ll give love another chance. Thank you because I have a good feeling about this girl. A very good feeling. Thank you for telling me to go for her. I’m so happy because even though I put you through so much pain, hurt, tears, bullshit, lies, and torture, you are still willing to give love another chance…

Things i feel for you……..

 

STANDING IN SILENCE

 

Standing in silence looking in the eyes of my love,

she is about to leave and I stop her.......wanting to hold on to her for one more second..........why does it have to be this way, what happened? What went wrong? My dignity doesn't allow me to ask her to stay, but my heart is about to speak for me.....please don't go, I wanted to shout....look at me and try to remember when you fell in love with me....remember the good days, the happy moments.......if you are willing to try, I am willing as well....

But I stay silent, my words caught in my throat....my eyes revealing everything....I am still looking at her, the silence between us grows bigger...the space is getting wider...again she starts to leave, but not before, she gave me a look that spoke volumes....I fell out of love with you...I want out, don't make it harder than it already is...I will not stay, we have hurt each other with swords....cutting out our deepest feelings....

Take care, was all she said.....closed the door behind her.....

I finally talking...........asking questions...do you remember when? The first time we held hands, the first time we said I love you, the first time we went out, the first valentine? Do you remember our first kiss? Cuz I don't remember our last....to me there was never an end...to me we will always go on..and on...

And then I felt a hand take my shoulders and help me up.....arms taking me in and vanishing all my pain,,,,,I looked up and there I saw a reflection of my strength, the reflection of my future, the reflection of my success...That is when my life started all over again......and I knew I would survive.....that was me then and this is me now........

Can’t Name You…………

 

There are some moments in life when you feel like dieing because it wont be worth living after witnessing such beauty. I've got a post on hold, one that is long due now. I've started writing it, but can't really get anywhere. I may publish it unfinished. But this one, I must post now. I'm afraid I wont be able to write about it, if this moment passes. I've been checking her album. She accepted the request today and she has written a post in her blog. Can't write the words of admiration that I want to as photo-comments. It'll be too much out-in-the-open. Some feelings, you need to hide. Murmur in her ears in private, in person, silently. Can't do that either. Can't fall in love with her. Twitted the moment, "There are two ways out of her eyes, love or death..." Love is an impossible option, death isn't even an option. I hate it! I know this is momentous, but moments I believe in. Eternity doesn't have the ability to hold it. Why does it happen to me? I should be dead, or in love...

Goddess, give me a camera and let me look at you.. forever... for this moment. I wanted to die, sincerely! Call me a cynic... but that's the truth!